So I’m living with various long-term illnesses and the other day someone told me I am entitled to a blue badge.

I have been thinking a lot about this, should I get one, do I deserve it? On a good day, I can park in the far corner of [insert a supermarket name] car park and hike to the front door with minimal discomfort. On a bad day, I struggle to get in/out of the car, let alone walk to the door.

So why am I not sure? I’ve always thought about disabled spots being for those that need it like wheelchair users or people with severe mobility issues. I’ve never really classified myself as needing a badge until recently.

I was doing a shopping run to the local supermarket, it was raining but we had no food left in the house so needs must! Fortunately, I was able to go without having to take one of my children – as much as I love them, and I honestly do, they can make the “shopping experience” consume much more energy.

I’ve been waiting on a biopsy result for a cancer investigation, which meant that all my normal treatments for Arthritis got put on hold. Being on hold means that the usual 8-week cycle of better a few days after treatment, worse around 6 weeks after treatment, and treatment on week 8, gets put on stop until the cancer is confirmed one way or the other. For me, this means the 6-8 week gets worse period just continues and my joints get more painful and mobility reduces.

I’m pretty sure the cancer diagnosis is negative, although I’ve still not had my official results back from the hospital, and I’m fairly sure the 14-day bleed was due to undiagnosed Chron’s Disease.

Anyway, I was in the shop at the till, full shopping trolley and ready to face the now doubled cost of our weekly shop. I was unloading shopping when my hip clicked, this is rather painful and stops me from walking well for days afterwards. At the same point, my stomach tied itself in knots and the pain was shooting through me, I was halfway lifting a jar of gherkins to the conveyor belt when I smashed it on the side of the conveyor belt.

It took me about 40 minutes to get the shopping back to the car, packed in the boot, then take the trolley back and then get back to the car. If this isn’t a disability, then what is it?

I’m pretty sure that those twenty-somethings who think it cool to park where they shouldn’t don’t deserve to, but maybe I do? I think on a good day I can just park in a normal space, but on a bad day know that I will be able to do it without needing 40 minutes to get out of the car park!

My only other concern is a reported rise in thefts of blue badges, which in itself is disgusting to have to even worry about, will that make my crappy car a target for those evil peeps? One step at a time though, let’s get over the first hurdle and not worry about my anxieties